I went to campus do to some course-prepping of my own, then I stopped by the elementary school on my way home to find out who Noah's teacher would be this year. I found his teacher and wrote down a name I didn't recognize--it looks like his teacher is new to the school.
And then, I don't know why, I glanced across all the other listings. Second grade, first grade, kindergarten . . . and then, right next to kindergarten, a paper labeled "multicategorical" with the names of eight children.
I cried.
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Nick's ISP meeting was a couple weeks ago, and as I sat with his DDD case manager I saw all the goals I'd laid out for my son over the years. I still remember sitting down with John as Nick was leaving early intervention to chart out those goals for the first time. The very first one that I asked John to write down was that I wanted to see Nick mainstreamed (possibly with an aide) by the time he reached elementary school. Each year, every annual ISP meeting, I see that goal again. And each time I see it, I realize it's less and less feasible.
Nick will start kindergarten next year. He has maybe eighty words, but none of them are really conversational. Well, that is unless the conversation is about trains, then "stop, train, stop," "Percy slow down," "Thomas, Toby, James, Edward, Gordon, Percy" (in that exact order, always) are conversational. He's beautiful and intelligent and sweet, but he's nowhere near ready for a neurotypical classroom. Nowhere near ready.
And so next year I'll see Nick's name listed under "multicategorical" when I drive up to the school to see the boys' placements for the year. And I'm okay with that, okay with who he is . . . I'm just a bit sad as I mourn the dream I had for my son.
But dreams can always be replaced with new dreams, which is the beautiful thing. And Nick, he's utterly irreplaceable, which is the other beautiful thing.
3 comments:
I love your heart for your sweet boys. Thanks for sharing this. Nick and Noah are so lucky to have you.
My mom and I were talking about posting class lists the other day. She said it's just a game schools play with parents. Most likely they post them last minute so they only have to field parent complaints for a few days. (rolling my eyes)
Thanks, Martha. You're a sweetheart.
I guess I could see why the schools would want to shortcut parent complaints, but I really wanted to know who Noah's teacher was ahead of time to give him or her a heads up on Noah's special needs. His new teacher isn't even listed on the school's website yet, so I don't even have a way to email him/her.
Don't you dare mourn for one second lady! If you didn't have the highest of hopes and dreams for your boys...they would be no where near where they are. Dream big...and if it falls short...he is going to be in a class with 8 other little ones...maybe he can be mainstreamed for some of the day?
I know you are sad but take a moment....your hard work HAS paid off...
xo
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