6:05 AM: Wake up from crab-fishing dream. I was throwing the hook and doing really well on the Cornelia Marie. Side-effect of watching Deadliest Catch episodes on Netflix before bed.
6:06 AM: Put some clothes on. Renew my yearly resolution not to be that mom who puts her kids on the bus in her flannel monkey pajama pants. Resolution should be broken by October.
6:07 AM: Wash face, look at my Zyrtec and Symbicort on the counter, decide to take them after I get the kids on the bus.
6:10 AM: Go out to kitchen to find Noah has all his medicine ready (I didn't know he even knew how to measure the doses!) and is getting his breakfast ready. He reports he's been up since four.
6:14 AM: Prepare breakfast for Nick only, since Noah is some fancy grown-up junior high kid now and doesn't need mom to make his.
6:20 AM: Go in to wake up Nick. He's wet his bed. Clean child. Strip bed.
6:26 AM: Very tired Nick tries to go back to bed. Not happy that his bedding is gone. Lays down on towel.
6:29 AM: Try to dress limp noodle child.
6:35 AM: Finish dressing limp noodle child, except for shoes.
6:38 AM: Bring Nick his Risperidone. He takes it on the first try. Phew.
6:40 AM: Offer Nick his favorite breakfast. He screams.
6:45 AM: Nick gets angry and tries to pinch me. And pinches me more. He's starting to build up a tolerance to Risperidone. Boo.
6:50-7:05 AM: Try to get shoes on Nick. It doesn't go so well. Noah gets so fed up with Nick's screaming that he starts screaming. Send Noah to his room.
7:08 AM: Send Nick to his room because he's gotten too violent about the whole shoe thing.
7:11 AM: Go outside to meet Nick's bus. It's disgustingly Florida humid out there. Tell driver Nick's too upset to get on bus this morning.
7:20 AM: Retrieve Noah from his room. Try to comb out his cowlick.
7:29 AM: Try to comb out cowlick again. Give up and decide he can impersonate rooster at school.
7:32 AM: Noah and I go outside to wait for his bus. They tell you it's a 10-minute window on either side of the official time so we should be out there 10 minutes early, but I want to avoid the disgustingly Florida humidity and wait until five minutes before.
7:37 AM: Official pick-up time. No bus.
7:37-7:47 AM: Anxiously wait for the far-too-wide 10-minute window to close so that I can call and ask where the eff the bus is. Mosquitoes nibble at my feet an ankles, a side-effect to the disgustingly Florida humidity.
7:48-7:51 AM: Call transportation. Dispatcher dispatches wrong driver, the one who goes to the wrong junior high. Dispatcher then dispatches correct driver. Mosquito bastards bite more, prompting runny nose and watery eyes.
7:52 AM: Go back into house to find happy Nick jumping on his bed. Phew. Throw Nick's school stuff into my car.
7:54 AM: Throw children into car, too. Air conditioning sooo much better than disgustingly Florida humidity. Wait for Noah's bus.
8:07 AM: Noah's bus arrives 30 minutes late. Drive Nick to school.
8:10 AM: Asthma attack from stupid evil mosquito-bite allergy begins in car. Denise had decided to take her Zyrtec and Symbicort after getting the boys off to school. Oops.
8:23 AM: Pull into Nick's school. Before getting Nick out of car, watch Noah get off his bus up the hill at the junior high. Aide meets him and he bounces into the school to start new life as fancy grown-up junior high kid.
8:24 AM: Put shoes on Nick. Unbuckle his car seat.
8:24 AM: Nick takes off his shoes.
8:25 AM: Decide shoes aren't important. I mean, really, aren't they just part of a heteronormative patriarchal ideology of conformity anyway? Decide Nick should challenge hegemonic forces and stage a shoeless rebellion against the man.
8:30 AM: Deliver Nick and his footless shoes to his teacher.
8:45 AM: Return home to my beloved Symbicort and Zytec. Rejoice that school days are so much calmer than the chaos of summer.
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