Tuesday, November 30, 2010

When the right person comes along

Being a habilitation therapist is one of the most challenging, most important jobs in autism world. A hab is in the home, day to day, working on all the most significant skills with a child. While a child might only see a speech therapist or occupational therapist once a week, the hab is there with him or her during every aspect daily life, working on speech skills and daily living skills and school readiness skills and social skills and feeding skills and everything else you could possibly imagine. It's the most important job in autism world.

And, like I said, the most challenging. Not everyone can do it, or do it successfully. We've had around twenty different people in and out of our home. There was the girl who always tried to get me to leave the house during her sessions (um, illegal!). There was the girl who didn't know what a belt was and flashed my son with her g-string. There was the guy who thought the military approach was best and would pin Beh's hands to the table until he "complied." There were a couple of talented people who would've been great if they'd showed up to work consistently, and without tell-tale red eyes.

The toughest situations were the ones where wonderful people who I really liked just weren't wonderful habs. One person was with our family for about a year, and while I loved her and knew she'd do anything for my kids, the chemistry just wasn't right with the boys. Another person I thought would be amazing, and I spent $500 I didn't have to get my consultant to train her (thank you student loans), but she just didn't have the gift.

But there have also been a few really gifted people, the rare treasures in the gravel. And we lost all but one of those gifted people because Nick aged out of early intervention or because they were so awesome they decided to go off to medical school or OT school to become even more awesome.

With all the habilitators who have filtered through our lives, I've never seen anything like this one, though.

She's a young college girl who has never been a habilitator before. Beh is her first and only client. Her only real experience is the time she spent in her mom's classroom over the years, seeing first-hand what life was like in a special needs classroom.

But she has the gift.

Rather than being timid or afraid or looking to me to tell her what to do, she just stepped in and played with Beh just like he was any other kid (which I, of course, think he is, but most other people see the autism first). She was calm and unafraid. The first couple of weeks were challenging as Beh was trying to figure out the relationship, but then it just *happened.* The magic.

She figured out what he loved and used it. He liked Goldfish crackers, so she rewarded him with those. He loved his Thomas the Tank Engine books, so she brought them to the table to work on letter writing. He would happily write J for James and E for Edward.

Whereas most other habs had struggled to get him to do things, all she has to do is speak to him. "Let's go write letters," "Let's go to the potty," and Beh jumps up, following after her.

Today, though, I saw the most amazing thing. After school Beh and his hab have a routine. She gives him a snack, then she takes him to the bathroom, then they do some school readiness skills at his little table. Today he finished his snack and took her hand to lead her to the bathroom.

So many habs have thought of potty training Beh as a battle they couldn't win. But here was Beh, going off to the bathroom--unprompted--taking his habilitator by the hand.

It's so simple, really--you take the time to know and love a kid, and he responds. It's so simple, but it's something that is so hard for most people to figure out.

She's going to head off to OT school someday so that she can work one on one with kids like Beh for the rest of her life, but until then, I'm going to hold on to her. Tight. Don't any of you think of stealing a single hour of her time for your kids! ;)

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